Never Enough

I am never enough. I always do too little or feel too much. The rare moments when I am successful quickly fleet away and then I fall short in some other manner. Every day my flaws are repeatedly held against me; In fact,  every new day can never really be new; the constant flames of criticism dissipate any hope of changing or improving. I'm suffocating under this avalanche. I don't know how to find my way out from any angle. As much as I'd like to change and become what is desired of me in an instant, that isn't very realistic. And, without the patience to give me a chance to change, I am very constantly a disappointment. 

I once was your diamond. You once were my best friend. You claim that I've changed. I claim that it's for the better. But is it really if I'm losing you? If I can never regain our relationship? It's killing me and breaking me. I love you and always give you the benefit of the doubt. Please do the same for me. Please don't hold my flaws against me. Please forgive me for my offenses and past mistakes. I want to be your diamond again but maybe I'm no longer enough.

For now, I'll keep hoping. I'll keep trying to change. I'm still your little girl. The one that needs your approval and wants to meet your expectations. But what happens if I can't? 

Have hope, have hope, have hope.

Posted via email from soundslikecindy's posterous