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30MAR2010

 

Oh my, thoughts have flooded over me and I will not hide them. I’m scared of growing old. But today, I fear it because I worry of the relationship that can evolve with my future husband. I see an old Asian couple sit next to me. The man is turned completely away from his wife, completely hunched over. The woman rests her head on the top of the seat and has her body angled away from him. And I cannot help but fear the loss of passion, the fading of love, the dull content of companionate love. 

 

Right now that terrifies me. I want it all. I want a consummate love that will last for eternity. I want passion and excitement. Patience and trust. Love and loyalty. Oh my, another older couple just sat down in front of me. At least they’re warmer. “Dears” are exchanged, small talk is offered, and there they sit. 

I don’t want to sit just yet. Maybe someday? But today it scares me and almost makes me want to forget the idea of love. Yet, isn’t it better to sit in old age with someone by your side, than to sit in old age alone?

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