Cindy Marie: edamame sprinkled with sea salt and apples with babybel cheese and peanut butter

Yes, that was my dinner tonight. And it was delicious. If only the evening could have been as delicious as the food with which I escaped to my room. Here I have been locked away seeking comfort and reassurance.

My family is so broken. I am broken.

I think we all get dings, dents, and scratches along the roads of life; it is inevitable. Experiences in their many shapes and forms, good and bad, are a crucial and key aspect of life. However, there is a great divergence when it comes to the dings, dents, and scratches experienced and acquired.

There are those who go in for repairs (in a variety of personal depth as to why they take that decision). There are those who take a step back, see the dings and think, "It's not so bad", and opt not to get repairs. And there are those who don't even acknowledge or recognize the scratches ever in their lives or not until after long whiles at a time.

I took a break to get a bowl of rice crispies cereal and soy milk. I was still hungry. Random fact: usually I prefer less milk in my cereal. I now know that rice crispies are the only exception to that preference.

My head is throbbing due to the intensity in the home a few hours earlier. This stress is not helping my recovery. But I cannot blame the reason for the stress. I am in need of repair. I recognize it. I see the scratch right where I polished over a few months ago! Not a fun feeling. I can't help but stare at it and think, "Really? Again?" And then I keep staring until acceptance kicks in. I see the need for a tune up, check up, and awakening.

Sheer honesty: Right now I am broken in every way imaginable. I have no money. I have poor health. I have low hopes. But as I thought of these categories in which I am lacking, I remembered what I do have.

I have dreams. I have potential. I have faith. I can have vision and perspective.

Now do I have the willpower and the strength to push passed everything else and achieve?

That is yet to be determined. But I know I can. I need to fight. I need to give everything I have. And if I fail, so be it. I tried. But if I can succeed and really achieve my potential, I can share that with all those who are bruised, shattered, and hopeless. I can even share it with those who simply need a routine check up.

It never hurts to gain more hope to keep going. Here's to gaining and maintaining mine...starting with some good music!