nouveau

At least I think that's how I remember spelling it once upon a time... It is now 2012! How exciting. I am thrilled to see if A. the world is really going to end B. what the world of politics brings C. how my life unfolds even more. 

I do have a feeling this will be a productive year for me. I am not at all inclined to think, "THIS IS MY YEAR!!!" Every year is... "my year". But I have this slight gnawing in my stomach that makes me think this will be a year of change and greater direction. But who knows, maybe that's just my dinner being broken down by enzymes gnawing at me. 

Here's how this entry is going to go: 

1. New Year's Eve

2. New Year's Day: The reading of the egg

3. My absolutely resolute resolutions

 

New Year's Eve

Not my finest moment, I will admit. I didn't have the best attitude. All my fault. I take full responsibility for my emotions and attitude towards such emotions. It was a roller coaster ride. I woke up feeling like things were done with a certain boy and ended feeling pathetic and sorry for myself because I realized how much I had invested emotionally in said boy. Stupid, really. I don't know why I chose to accelerate my pace this time around... but I acknowledge that it was foolish. Relationships are so much better when enjoyed and taken slowly. At least for me. I like just having fun and getting to know the person. Really know them. Anyway. So I was a sulky little thing (dressed up and pretty) thing. I cried a lot last night... bawled, really. Truly not one of my finest moments but I am so happy that I at least got it out. Why? The answer will be found in section #2. 

As per tradition in our household, we ate our 12 grapes during the last 10 seconds of the countdown. 12 grapes for 12 months and 12 wishes... for 2012! Then we cracked our eggs into their glasses of water and toasted each other. We said a family prayer and then I quickly rushed back to my room to finish crying and letting everything out. I fell asleep in tears, pain, and anger. Haha, I even played out multiple scenarios in my head where I lashed out at my (unexpecting) victim. Such was my New Year's Eve. 

New Year's Day: The reading of the egg

All those tears were left to 2011! I felt so

 

 much better when I woke up... indifferent even (which is the BEST feeling when it comes to complicated boy scenarios). I like taking the opportunity to use the vibe of a new year, a fresh slate to fuel my motiv

ation. It doesn't hurt, right? So I enjoyed the day. I spent it making my family laugh, enjoying myself at church, and thinking deeply about what I really want to accomplish this year. I even came full circle to an appropriate perspective when it comes to relationships... TAKE MY TIME! HAVE FUN! LET MEN PURSUE. I definitely think that last one is key. There is nothing wrong with showing interest; I have always done that. But there is a fine line between encouraging and pursuing... Men are the natural pursuers... take that away from them and you take away their objective and their fun leaving them with nothing more than an early kill and little satisfaction in said kill...

I am focusing on success this year. I am making huge (and not su huge) decisions and taking my life to the next level of fulfillment. Yes, I am still a college student but I am almost done. And I can do so much more to enrich my life. All I have to do is make goals, stay on task, and set my priorities. Dream! Aspire! Remember that I am capable! I feel like I've held back the last couple of years. It's not me... and it leaves me lacking and wanting. So, this year, I think greater fulfillment will be my theme. 

Oh. Reading of the egg. Well, the egg that is cracked as the new year chimes in forms in different shapes, bubbles, lines, etc. These shapes "tell you" what your year will be like. It gives you things to look forward to as well as warnings to keep in mind. Just some fun.

The egg was encouraging this year... for the most part. I had a few tears on the top rim... Two, actually. One medium, the other tiny. I had lots of success and protection throughout. Money!! I will have some money this year... which will be nice... haha. There were 2 angels looking down on me at the top of my glass (greater safety and illumination)... And there were two more people standing, seemingly facing each other holding on to the edges of a heart (my mom says it could mean love, marriage, or a relationship... MEH.). On top of the heart there was a building... like a church (echoes the marriage thing... MEH.). There was a little cow (what do you know?! the cow is a sign of fulfillment, a restoration to health and purity, warding off negative energy, and great things all around.. woo hoo! haha) to one side of the glass. A little boat near the other (some traveling will be done this year... not much though since it was little). And high arches leading up to the top of the glass (meaning hard work and great success). I did have some fog around the yoke of the egg which is a warning sign... not to be precipitous and to avoid contention. If I forget to do either, I will have additional pain and suffering in my dealings with friends and work... haha awesome. 

My Absolutely Resolute Resolutions: 

1. Spiritual binder

2. I am going to instate a new personal rule. No kissing until the 5th date. AT LEAST. I have my reasons... 

3. Journal every day. At least one word to describe the day. 

4. Finish my book! Has to be done. 

5. Read at least 2 books for my own personal perusing (part of the fulfillment theme).

6. Fitness (also fits the fulfillment theme)!!!!!!!!  Work out at least 4-5 times a week. 

7. Find community service project(s) in which to engage (also fulfillment). 

Well those are a few for now, I am writing them down in more depth in my journal. So excited!! It's going to be a great year. Why? Because I am taking action and am committing to giving my all so that it will be so!

I promise.

 

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